“If you feel bad – do something for someone else and you will feel good “
I’ve seen this listed in many self help manuals .
I do accept this from a neuroscience basis – there’s probably an oxytocin secretion and a slight endorphin rush , and if it’s a planned gift involving anticipatory – related reward, a touch of dopamine too.
But what if you can’t?? Sometimes it’s easy to be a giver or supporter or nurturer of others.
Othertimes, it just isn’t. If one is unwell , physically or mentally , it can be extraordinarily difficult to focus on anything outside ones own pain, discomfort or distress.
Esther Jungreis, a Holocaust survivor who became an American religious leader, recounts this story , which hits a pure-truth chord every time I recount it…..
There was a very rich guy who owned a Texas based oil company . His son grew up and joined the firm . One year there was a terrible recession that hit the world. The son half-joked “ Gee dad , things are so tight now. We could really use the $300 000 that the business donated to charity last year” .
The dad turned to his son.” Dont you know?” he said, “All that we have is that which we give? I only wish, that when i had the chance, I had given more”.
Sometimes it can be very difficult to give.
Especially in a recession . But this Texas dude could well be right.
Why wait till its hard ?